curlfro
05-08-2006, 01:07 PM
Most people won't get these jokes, but to all people from New England, your welcome :)
(btw, these are all true)
You might be from New England .....
if you can't talk more than 30 seconds without someone
asking, "Where are you from?"
if you have ever gone sledding off your roof.
if you think 60 degreee ocean water is warm.
if there are only 25 letters in the English alphabet.
if you think "barbecue" is a verb meaning to cook
outside.
if you use "wicked" as an adverb.
if you have ever driven 70mph....within 6" of the guy
in front of you....in a blizzard.... while shaving.
if you can pronounce "Worcestershire Sauce."
if nobody outside of New England can pronounce or
spell your hometown. Here's how.
if you have ever beaten someone up for mentioning the
year ****.
if you know what year **** is.
if you name your pets after Celtics or Bruin players.
if you learned to ski and ice skate before you learned
to walk.
if you have ever prevented someone from getting in
front of you on the highway by making it physically
impossible to get between you and the guy in front of
you.
if you have ever passed on the right (especially as
they're entering the highway).
if you have ever used the sidewalk as a passing lane
(since it is paved).
if you have ever used someone's front lawn as a
passing lane.
if you have a strip mall in your backyard.
if you think 6" of snow is a dusting.
if you get a foot of snow, and still have to go to
school.
if you are related to the Mafia.
if when someone is being nice to you leads you to
believe they are from out of town or want something
from you.
if you think a yellow light means to accelerate.
if you think a red light means to accelerate more.
if you have ever seen an inverted intersection: cars
move on red, stop on green.
if you know how to drive in a rotary.
if you think using turn signals is a sign of weakness.
if you "bang a left" the instant the light turns
green, cutting off the oncoming traffic.
if you greet people by saying "hihowahya."
if you have to repeat what you say three time, slowing
down each successive time, before anyone can
understand what you're saying.
if you walk twice as fast as everyone else.
if you flash your lights to pass when you are stuck
behind a guy only going 80.
if someone calls you a m*******, and you take it as a
compliment.
if the curse of Bambino was taught in public schools
instead of the Civil War.
if you think that crossing two or more lanes on a
single lane change is "going with the flow."
if your sole aim is to get there as fast as you
possibly can while preventing others from doing the
same.
if you got yelled at by at least three grown-ups on
your street as a little kid for hitting their
windshield with a snowball.
if your friends took you to Montreal on your 19th
birthday.
if you think church is just a social event.
if you own a snowblower....and have broken it after
four blizzards.
if you have ever driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday
just to get beer.
if you root for the Red Sox, but know that they will
lose.
if you have ever intentionally forgotten to brush the
snow off your car before you went to work.
if you honk your horn at the guy in front of you if he
doesn't move within 0.1 seconds of the light turning
green.
if your friends from the South are afraid to drive
with you.
if the only time you have seen prayer in public
schools is when the school board was considering
hiring a guy from Virginia to be the new
superintendant. (He'll cancel school at the very
mention of flurries!)
if you think 6 inches of snow is a dusting.
if you drink water from a bubbler.
if you eat ice cream in the winter to warm up.
if you have ever shoveled after a snowstorm and found
a car.
if you don't think 4 feet of snow is an excuse for
being late to work.
if you read the entire Wall Street Journal on the way
to work.
if you know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat,
White, Red, O.B. or Seamus.
if you know where you were when Bucker missed the
ball.
if you go to the Cape during the summer.
if you think three straight days of 90+ temperatures
is a heat wave.
if you don't know the meaning of "compromise."
if you have ever skiied down your street before the
snow plows got to it.
if you think ketchup is spicy.
if you eat fried chicked with a knife and fork.
if you don't consider "guys" to be gender specific.
if you think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.
if you think NASCAR stands for the North American
Society for...(something).
if you need to have Jeff Foxworthy's jokes explained
to you.
if the last time you smiled was when you prevented
someone from getting on the highway.
if you define summer as three months of bad skiing.
if you freak out when someone talks to you on the
subway.
if you're not afraid to drive on a pond in the winter.
(btw, these are all true)
You might be from New England .....
if you can't talk more than 30 seconds without someone
asking, "Where are you from?"
if you have ever gone sledding off your roof.
if you think 60 degreee ocean water is warm.
if there are only 25 letters in the English alphabet.
if you think "barbecue" is a verb meaning to cook
outside.
if you use "wicked" as an adverb.
if you have ever driven 70mph....within 6" of the guy
in front of you....in a blizzard.... while shaving.
if you can pronounce "Worcestershire Sauce."
if nobody outside of New England can pronounce or
spell your hometown. Here's how.
if you have ever beaten someone up for mentioning the
year ****.
if you know what year **** is.
if you name your pets after Celtics or Bruin players.
if you learned to ski and ice skate before you learned
to walk.
if you have ever prevented someone from getting in
front of you on the highway by making it physically
impossible to get between you and the guy in front of
you.
if you have ever passed on the right (especially as
they're entering the highway).
if you have ever used the sidewalk as a passing lane
(since it is paved).
if you have ever used someone's front lawn as a
passing lane.
if you have a strip mall in your backyard.
if you think 6" of snow is a dusting.
if you get a foot of snow, and still have to go to
school.
if you are related to the Mafia.
if when someone is being nice to you leads you to
believe they are from out of town or want something
from you.
if you think a yellow light means to accelerate.
if you think a red light means to accelerate more.
if you have ever seen an inverted intersection: cars
move on red, stop on green.
if you know how to drive in a rotary.
if you think using turn signals is a sign of weakness.
if you "bang a left" the instant the light turns
green, cutting off the oncoming traffic.
if you greet people by saying "hihowahya."
if you have to repeat what you say three time, slowing
down each successive time, before anyone can
understand what you're saying.
if you walk twice as fast as everyone else.
if you flash your lights to pass when you are stuck
behind a guy only going 80.
if someone calls you a m*******, and you take it as a
compliment.
if the curse of Bambino was taught in public schools
instead of the Civil War.
if you think that crossing two or more lanes on a
single lane change is "going with the flow."
if your sole aim is to get there as fast as you
possibly can while preventing others from doing the
same.
if you got yelled at by at least three grown-ups on
your street as a little kid for hitting their
windshield with a snowball.
if your friends took you to Montreal on your 19th
birthday.
if you think church is just a social event.
if you own a snowblower....and have broken it after
four blizzards.
if you have ever driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday
just to get beer.
if you root for the Red Sox, but know that they will
lose.
if you have ever intentionally forgotten to brush the
snow off your car before you went to work.
if you honk your horn at the guy in front of you if he
doesn't move within 0.1 seconds of the light turning
green.
if your friends from the South are afraid to drive
with you.
if the only time you have seen prayer in public
schools is when the school board was considering
hiring a guy from Virginia to be the new
superintendant. (He'll cancel school at the very
mention of flurries!)
if you think 6 inches of snow is a dusting.
if you drink water from a bubbler.
if you eat ice cream in the winter to warm up.
if you have ever shoveled after a snowstorm and found
a car.
if you don't think 4 feet of snow is an excuse for
being late to work.
if you read the entire Wall Street Journal on the way
to work.
if you know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat,
White, Red, O.B. or Seamus.
if you know where you were when Bucker missed the
ball.
if you go to the Cape during the summer.
if you think three straight days of 90+ temperatures
is a heat wave.
if you don't know the meaning of "compromise."
if you have ever skiied down your street before the
snow plows got to it.
if you think ketchup is spicy.
if you eat fried chicked with a knife and fork.
if you don't consider "guys" to be gender specific.
if you think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.
if you think NASCAR stands for the North American
Society for...(something).
if you need to have Jeff Foxworthy's jokes explained
to you.
if the last time you smiled was when you prevented
someone from getting on the highway.
if you define summer as three months of bad skiing.
if you freak out when someone talks to you on the
subway.
if you're not afraid to drive on a pond in the winter.